How are you? It’s been a while since we last chatted.
Okay, that’s a lie. We’ve never actually chatted, except for when I daydream about creating the next great American sitcom and you invite me on your show to talk about its awesomeness. We laugh and chat and then play Password with Betty White (who was your first guest for the evening, because clearly she will always be superior to me and just about every other human being).
Anyways, I’m happy to see you’re having a good time in Indy (Indy-nap-lis, as your wife Denise called it). That head swap was one of the best I’ve seen, and it’s always a good day when you can see some Colts in drag. It would have been nice to have seen DePauw getting a little representation last night, but I guess you can be forgiven…
I was pretty bummed I didn’t get tickets to see your show. After all, you’re pretty much one of my favorite comedians and Fever Pitch is one of my all-time favorite movies (Drew is one of my all-time favorite actresses, as well). Seeing your show is on my list of New Year’s Resolutions (you can check that out here if you need a refresher), so I was pretty excited you were heading to the Circle City. But since I didn’t make it into the ticket-blessed group, I guess that means I’m going to have to go to NYC to see you on your own turf. That’s okay, too, because going to NYC is ALSO on my list of resolutions (how lucky is that?).
I’m totally excited at the prospect of going to the Big Apple. A friend and I are talking about getting there road trip style. I just have to sell lots of cards first.
People tell me my designs are pretty cute, so I guess I’ll agree with them. Why argue with the fans, right? You’re welcome to check them out here, if you’re curious. I think they make pretty good gifts, maybe if you’re looking for something for your mom or your sister (that dog hanger you got her was pretty cool, but maybe pretty stationery is a better alternative–just a suggestion!). Maybe your wife and Drew need some rad flower cards for Flower Productions, like these:
And honestly, I think these could be spiffy for Thank You notes, which is one of my absolute favorite parts of your show (right behind Real Housewives). I’d even give you some if you asked nicely. I think they’d be a more stylish improvement to the notes that you use:
I could even design something snazzy just for you.
Anyways, I’m obviously not saying you should buy any cards. I’m not begging or anything, or offering to put any sprinkles on top of my offer to give you thank you cards.